How can I make my marraige work?We Can Make It Here we are together, facing the world, yet apart, divided by despair. There are problems that come between us, blinding us from seeing a way out, from seeing the world clear. Are we to have made it this far, only to fall back now? For although misery has opened its doors, happiness still has room for us with options to draw its curtains, from our view of any dark clouds. We are stronger than the troubles that come in between us. We have to persevere, for us, for our children…for their future, for our forever. We have to give not just give our love a chance, but also the patience and hope that our love needs to endure and prosper. Dr. Gary Cameron-Xavier “Arrested Are The Doubts Of Those Who Are Willing To Consider Perseverance as an Option To Giving Into Despair”(All Rights Reserved). Love is not just a promise or a commitment…its a process.
As unromantic as it sounds, having mutual respect for each other will be a huge benefit to your relationship. This means never taking each other for granted or simply expecting certain things of each other without asking or having a discussion around roles. For example, how would you feel if your husband automatically expected you to know where his clean shirts were or assumed that all of the household chores were your domain and your domain only? A good relationship relies on teamwork and sharing responsibilities equally – not leaving one person in charge of everything. Having mutual respect means appreciating each other and showing that appreciation by saying thank you when your partner does something nice for you.
There are no two ways about it; you must accept the man you have married. There is slim to no chance that once you have him settled into a home with a garden and white picket fence that he will transform magically into the prince you’ve always wanted. A frog is a frog no matter how you dress him up, so if you want your marriage to work, acceptance is key. If you married him, you need to love him for who he is now – not who you hope he will become. Marry for love and nothing more or you run the risk of disappointment down the road, not to mention unnecessary arguments and potential heartache.
It may seem overly simplistic but remembering to extend small common courtesies to your spouse such as saying please and thank you, calling or texting when you’re going to be late, offering to make dinner when the other person is super-stressed, etc. will go a long way in making your marriage work. No one likes to feel underappreciated (or worse, not appreciated at all), so if you both make a point to show appreciation towards each other, it will be much easier to keep your relationship healthy and minimize potential resentment. Resentment often starts when one person feels they pull more weight than the other or that what they do goes unnoticed. Be nicer to each other to avoid this trap.
This is probably the most important healthy marriage must-do on our list and something that should be taken very seriously. We all want to be right (it just feels good sometimes), but always needing to have the last word and turn every argument into a full-blown fight can really wear on the relationship. Compromise means coming to a mutually agreeable solution – something you can both live with. You may still think you’re right and he’s wrong, but it can often be better to try and merge your ideas until you hit on something that satisfies both of you, rather than one of you feeling slighted or angry.